metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My BP I am not going to report all the odiferous wonders of my bodily functions here, so no more info regarding fart odors... sorry. I am just freaked right the fuck out about my blood pressure. It is lower today, but still elevated. Fuck. I am so good at denial, I just believe there is some mistake at the doctors office; even though my BP (we will now call it my BP, since I have a feeling I will become quite intimate with it and it will become one of my main reasons for living - my BP) is the same if taken by doctor, or two different nurses with different equipment. I mean. I read about what to do and what to eat and all that crap. It basically boils down to exercise. I know that. I am struggling with it, but I am making changes internally at the same time. I will have to step it up, though, because I have a tendency to analyze and plan a thing to fucking death and then oops I've run out of time. My life is one thing I just don't feel like running out of time right now... K is concerned and trying to be helpful, but it just irritates me. That probably raises my blood pressure... It's all K's fault! Yeah, that's it. Enough about it already. I'll just do what I can do when I can do it and let it go. Just let it go. In re by brother's recent death. If it wasn't for him, I would never have gone to a museum or known the difference between Monet and Manet. His influence enriched my life, but when I thanked him for it and told him how much it meant to me he sloughed it off. Perhaps it was just too much emotion for him. Or perhaps he just thought it was so much crap. It wasn't crap to me. I am grateful to him for his many influences. He enhanced my life experience. 9:35 a.m. - 2004-12-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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