metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taking Certain \"Truths\" With Me There are some things about which I cannot write here. There are some feelings which I can only write on my heart. These are the things I will die with, these are the things that will die with me. These are my eternal secrets. I wanted this diary to be a place of truth, and I can not help feeling like a sham when I keep things hidden away. Isn't truth supposed to open and free to all? Is it truth when feelings-thoughts-ideas, certain ones, are hidden? Looking back, I am always happy I held my tongue and kept things to myself and did not write or say these personal thoughts and feelings. Life has a way of working itself out, whether these things are stated or not. The times I have said what is on my pea mind were far more frequent when I was younger and chose to err on the side of "truth". "I will tell the truth, whether it hurts or not", said I. What truth, I cannot say now; but it was what I deemed as the truth at the time. I hurt many people, and helped few, if any, with my "truth". Basically, looking back, I should have kept my mouth shut. In my present vernacular, I should have written it on my heart and let it die with me. Life is ever-changing, and what I think is true today I will find is false tomorrow, then true again the next day... Better to hold some thoughts, better to write them on our hearts, than to hurt in the name of helping another with a truth that is essentially our own and not theirs. I still believe in universal truths. I still know certain things are true for all. There are not many of them, but they have a large scope. For example, I think we all know that murder is wrong, no matter how we may justify it in our minds, so that is what I call a universal truth. I no longer believe MY ideas represent universal truth, and so I choose to write them on my heart, to die along with me when I pass beyond the river. 8:05 a.m. - 2004-04-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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