metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Last of the bills Last night I finished consolidating all my bills into one big bill. It's a weird feeling. Instead of owing 2500 here and 4000 there, I now owe 25,000 in one place. Ouch. It is so much harder to see it all together in a pile. I guess thats why I had so many credit cards. It was just easier to see that I owed 2500 instead of 25000, although I did owe that 2500 in ten different places, more or less. gah. It is better this way, though, in the long run. The debt is in an home equity loan and the interest is - tax deductible! Yay for tax deductible. So we are in the final stages of the big financial reorganization. It feels good. It feels surreal. It feels ... almost doesn't feel like anything. It's weird, too, not getting all those bills in the mailbox. I feel like something is not right. I was under so much pressure for so long, it became like a welcome friend. I was meticulous about paying them, although a few times I would just procrastinate paying them - oh not so much as to be LATE, but right on the cusp of lateness. I have been juggling so many for so long and now - nothing. Silence in the mailbox. Only catalogs and - get this - credit card offers! heh Today I had the car. K and I have been carpooling for weeks now, and it is nice. I am just without wheels during the day, but that's ok. But today, I had wheels so I went to B&N got a venti cappucino and browsed magazines, went to a store to look for a dress to wear to sons wedding and hung out at the crafts store, dreaming of making shit that I would never make and thank God lunch time was over or I may have purchased soap making stuff and dragged it home and put it in a drawer and forgotten all about it. sneh. Further on the cleaning binge. I am almost complete with the computer/workout room. It was my last frontier, until K emptied out the closet in there and caused it to become the first priority. But it looks good, except for my little computer corner which is a shitfest mess. CD's, floppies, empty Sims boxes, etc. all over it. Now I must go to my computer and do the old "format c:/". I have been putting it off for almost a year now. Struggling with Windows 98 and just a myriad of troubles. I am pretty sure changing the operating system will take care of all it's troubles. And if not, that piece of shit is out of there. But, anyway, I may just bite the bullet and finish that little corner of crapness this weekend. On Saturday K and I are going to shop around for a dress for the wedding. He WANTS to go!! He is a real trooper. Although, I think he wants input about what I wear. He saw a dress on TV the other night and said, "That would be good for you to wear to the wedding." Heh. It was like this black, skintight mini with skinny straps all over it... I would look like a hooker, and not a very expensive one, either. But, heh, he REALLY thought it would be a good dress. So, mother of the groom/two bit hooker. Hmmm. No. So, I doubt I will find anything we both agree on, but I must begin looking. Time's a wastin'! Besides, I will get what I want anyway. He just likes to shop and flirt with the salesgirls. heh Then we plan to go home and cook lobsters and drink champagne and have a wild and wooly V-day. K asked, "What else are we having for dinner on Sat.?" I said, "Hunh? What else do you need? Lobster and champagne. Oh, and chocolate. Of course, requisite chocolate." "No" he said, "I mean like a salad or something." "Nuh.", I said, but I may make something else. I dunno. It sounded like a pretty complete meal to me. heh I am getting a color laser jet printer at work! Whee hee. I'm excited. Now I can do lovely personal shit here at work - in COLOR! hehe I have been thinking about my lenten discipline and what I am going to do and how I will approach it this year. I believe I will make Wednesdays my "holy" day and fast during the day, and pray during my lunch hour. I don't know what else, but I think that is a good start. 4:03 p.m. - 2004-02-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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