metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Between living and dying I wish I had gone to JournalCon. What fun everyone had! I am sure they would have embraced me and I could have been "part of" instead of my mysterious loner self. A woman of mystery, that is who I am. No one knows me, not even me. I am a mystery unto myself, even. Mysterious Me. I got a letter from my sister-in-law last week. She was married to my brother who died a year ago August. She is seeing someone now. It seems like it is a little soon, but really I am happy for her. Everyone need companionship and life is short. I also know that having a relationship does not mean she does not miss my brother or grieve that he is gone from her life. I wish her the very best. She told me my niece (dead brother's daughter) has been stealing from her so she is going to call police next time she sets foot on her property. I do not blame her. I do not understand my niece. I believe she is an alcoholic, and that would explain a lot of her behavior. I know that my brother was so deeply hurt by the things she said and did. I often wondered if she did them solely to hurt him - to punish him for leaving her mother marrying another woman (my current sister-in-law). Dunno. Is she still my sister-in-law, now that my brother is dead? Or - what? I have been so very busy lately, and I am not sure what exactly I am doing to be so busy. I sure feel busy. I am doing a lot at the church right now because I am in charge of publicity for the "Fall Festival". So, if anyone reads this and is in Cave Spring Georgia on November 8, come on down to the Fall Festival at Cave Spring UMC, 30 Alabama St. We will have fried (!) pies, beans & cornbread plus a huge yard sale. So, in the middle of all the publicity thing I was asked to do another thing plus working on the monthly newsletter, etc. K says, "Oh, I am sure you can squeeze that in between living and dying somewhere." Heh He comes up with such great things, sometimes. I will use that one as often as I can. Why do I feel so left out? I think, upon examination it is because I leave myself out. And I leave myself out because I don't feel like I am welcome to participate. I am not welcome to be "part of". How sad and stupid is that? I'm going to try to work on that. I'll fit it in right between living and dying. 9:08 a.m. - 2003-10-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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