metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Easy Open I ripped the top off an easy open cereal box and it sure felt good. If I only had some of the glue they used on the box to fix my fingernail, it would never rip or break again during this millenium. Fuck, I hate containers and their myriad of designs and all called easy open even when they are not at all easy to open. They changed my orange juice container so that it has a little plastic spout with an even "littler" little pull ring to open. More plastic for the landfill. There was nothing wrong with my wax coated paperboard carton. As the rest of the container is still that paperboard, it will sit in the landfill happily biodegrading while the easy open plastic spout will sit in its pristine state until eternity erodes this planet into the nothingness that is space. I used a hoe on an easy open bag of potting soil this weekend. I just chopped the shit out of it. It had a little easy open top and then a little zipper thing so you could reclose it and keep your potting soil all, um, clean - or something. Yeah, and Right. Did they try this before they went to the trouble of putting the little zipper on that bag? The question here is: Can you zip a zipper-lock closed when it is full of dirt? No you can not. Does this zipper come full of dirt because it is in the inside of the bag and exposed to the dirt? Yes. Yes, it does. Yes. It really does. Childproof caps? Don't even get me started on that. I used a hammer on a bottle of tung oil with a child proof cap last weekend. I got the oil out, but had to throw the rest of it away... There have been many products I have dearly loved, only to stop buying them because of their container. In fact, there is a new perfume I think is great, but the bottle is unwieldy. It is so unwieldy that the tester in the store is 3/4 full and the sprayer is busted. The design of the bottle is such that the hand has to hold it at an acute angle to balance the damned thing. When you try to spray it your finger exerts pressure on the sprayer at such an acute angle, the sprayer eventually fails. Did they give this container/bottle to an actual human to use/test this product - someone female (it is a woman's fragrance) whose hand is small? I truly doubt it. Will this scent succeed? I doubt that too. Not because it does not smell fantastic (it does!), but because the damned bottle design is significantly flawed. I am sure the companies that went out of business because no one could open the product think their failure was in the product, when in reality it was the packaging that did it in. Oh well. Nobody listens to me. So, instructions on packages to help you open them. Yeah. Press down on Tab A, then pull Tab B to make a convenient reclosable top! No. Because when you press down on Tab A nothing happens. So, it should say, "Get a hammer hit box about or around where Tab A is printed on the box, then grab remainder and rip until you can get a big enough opening to remove product. Place remainder in zipper bag for later use." So, hammers and hoes. Use these for easy open containers. My household tip for the week. When I was younger, I was embarassed by my father because he did not open containers "correctly". When I would look in the pantry/cupboard and see a cereal box with the top completely ripped off and the waxed paper lining in shreds, my heart would sink. No, I thought, ON TV you just open it and refold the lining and put it back in your cupboard in the shining, cheery yellow kitchen with the smiling mom and dad and the squeaky clean happy kids. This is NOT RIGHT! Now, I know how he felt. I feel his pain. I wish he had lived long enough for this day. I would have apologized for judging his container opening skills so harshly. Now, when I rip, saw, tear, cut or generally mutilate a box/bag/bottle just trying to open it, it is a small homage to my father. Here's one for you, dad. He would be so proud. 9:33 a.m. - 2003-10-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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