metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You could always \"test\" the battery My Nightstand - A Haiku My nightstand has two drawers one is full of crap the other has more crap At least I think that is a haiku. It might just be a suck-ass haiku. Apologies to Uncle Bob. In fact I may go over to SuckAss Poems and post it. A haiku is a poem, isn't it? A type of poem - a goddamn genre, right? But I digress. Or no, I don't. This is the point. My nightstand is full of crap. Both drawers. And yet, I wonder what I would think SHOULD be in a nightstand drawer. See, I think all the stuff I have there is stuff that should be elsewhere and not in the nightstand drawer. The stuff in my nightstand is not worthy for The Nightstand. OK. I will stop writing "nightstand". I have lip gloss in the top drawer. A couple of them or maybe more. I think they are ok to be there. They are worthy I have a pumice thingy for the dry skin on my heels - this one is iffy. Probably should be in the bathroom, except there is no room in there and really I only notice my dry heels when I am going to bed or putting on my panythose. So that is there and then the heel cream, for after I hasp the crap out of my heels. Then there is one AAA battery. Is it good or is it spent? I do not know. I keep it just in case it is good, but I will probably not use it because I do not trust that it really is any good. K says I can put my tongue on it and see if it has any charge, but I am not going to willingly electrocute myself on the basis of his endorsement of this tongue method. So I have this battery in there. I have a cartoon I cut out of the paper 25 years ago. Really. 25 years ago. It is yellow, or really more of a brown now. It's funny. It has this guy at a yard sale and, well, you'll see it when you go through my stuff after I die. It'll still be there in the nigh.... drawer. I have gloves that you are supposed to wear to bed and put on hand cream and wear these gloves all night long and wake up with soft hands. I never make it all night with them on, though. It is so annoying to have gloves on when you are trying to sleep. One will come off and I will lie in a half-dream of being Michael Jackson in his one glove days. Then I will wake up and my one hand will be sweaty and I will fling the remaining glove off and then find the other in the bed the next morning and put them both back in the drawer of the table by the bed for another year until the night I decide I want to wake up with soft hands again and the trauma of the sweaty hand is long forgotten. The gloves must stay. I have a little plastic car I had for a toy when I was a little girl in the 50's. It has real rubber wheels and everything. Our toys were such crap back then. I remember getting toy cars and the damn doors didn't even open. Man, that really ticked me off. But then, after receiving car after car with it's doors welded shut I came to expect nothing more. I acquiesed to the fact that I would never have a toy car that had any functioning parts other than the wheels going around - and sometimes even that didn't happen. They were just plastic molded all in one piece with wheels part of the body. Toys these days are really good, although little is left to the imagination...the toys are probably why I was an over-imaginative child. I don't like that classification. I take that back. I am parroting what I was always told. I am not over imaginative. Let's just say I am exceptionally imaginative. So, this car is there in the drawer. It's red. The rubber wheels (they go around - wheee!) are now hard and black. Where else could I put this precious car? I have my prayer journal in there. That's good. That's where it should be because I say my prayers right before I sleep. Just in case I "die before I wake". They don't say that in kids prayers much anymore. That's probably a good thing. I remember when I first understood just what I was praying when I said, "...and if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." I was like, "Wha...? Mom, am I going to die tonight?" Mom said, "No. That's just a saying." Good old mom. She is the genesis of my denial-ability. So I say my prayers and the journal is good there. I have 80 pens with which to write in the journal, not all of which function. One will function today and then not tomorrow but then resume functioning in 3-4 days. The pens are all possessed. I must keep them out of respect for the entities which inhabit them.... or something like that. So pens. In the drawer and lots of 'em. A couple of pennies. A couple of magazines from 2 years ago that I didn't finish reading the article but now I don't remember what I was reading about that was so interesting to me that I would keep the damn magazine, but what if I remember and I have thrown out the magazine and I will never be able to finish that article - whatever it was... and a couple (500) of catalogs for books, and garden implements, and clothing, and shit because I might want to buy something in them although I don't know what, at this point. So, that is just the top drawer. And this is all from memory. There is a lot more peripheral crap in there. I put the drawer lining in there in 1975 - and that is no shit. I have concluded, from this writing that it is time to clean it all out. And I shall. I have also concluded, unfortunately, that I will probably only change the lining and put all the other shit back a little more neatly and feel damn proud that I did it. Except, I plan to throw away the battery - without the test. Funny story: When K and I were first dating we went to the drive in and he wanted a little "head" so I obliged. I was chewing gum at the time. So, I'm going along like I do and doing a damn fine job (no pun intended) of it I might add, and then my gum gets stuck on the head of his penis. heh So I unobtrusively (so I think) try to scrape it off with my front teeth and get it back in my mouth with no one the wiser. Except K slaps me upside my head (literally) and says, "What the fuck are you doing?" "Oh, uh, heh, my uh, gum and I was just and..." Haha Good times. Looking back I wonder why I didn't realize he would feel my teeth scraping the top of his penis, but at that point I was just thinking about getting the gum back in my mouth. I am so goal oriented and focused. Hah. Funny story. 8:24 a.m. - 2003-10-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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