metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Alive! Well, I'm alive, once again surviving a wild ride with Mr. Toad. It was not an exceptionally bad ride this time. My life only flashed in front of my eyes twice, plus one little tense breath holding incident. So, all things considered, it was better than I imagined. Of course, My imagination can conjure up pretty gory stuff. So, it was better than an ice pick up the nose while rolling in a patch of stinging nettles and drinking blender pureed pig intestine. Yes. It was better than that. I was thinking about dying yesterday, because I had to ride with Mr. Toad, and I recalled that when I was a little girl, perhaps about 5 or so, I thought I was going to die the next day. In fact, I remember being pretty sure about it. I was kind of afraid and sad about it, but it came with such an assurance that it was true, I probably seemed calm and matter-of-fact about it. I told my Elizabeth I thought I was going to die tomorrow and she asked me why did I think that. I told her because I could not see anything beyond today. I could not imagine anything happening tomorrow. I could not project or look forward to anything. And so, I concluded that this was the end and I was going to die. Strange, no? Of course, I didn't die, and when I awoke the next morning I was kind of surprised and relieved and thought it was kind of curious that I happened to still be around. And I am still around. But now, I can always see tomorrow. Dirty dishes will be in the sink. That is a given and something I can always "look forward" to. Like the good girl I am, I went to the boring workshop, went to the boring Outreach Committee meeting, went home and paid bills. I am such a good girl. 9:44 a.m. - 2003-09-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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