metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Credit gone I cried at work yesterday. It was not a big sob-fest type of cry. It was more like a quiet, teary-eyed- sometimes overpouring-running down the cheeks type of cry. I had my lie all ready if anyone came in to my office. (My eyes are watering! These darned allergies!) But I was really, truly sad. Sad in a way where there is a hole in your stomach. A big, heavy hole. Just sad. I have been talking to the company that put two nasty things on my credit report for a month or so, now. Hoping against hope they would reconsider and reverse the negative reports. But, no such luck. They have been nice, and helpful but in the end, the reports stays the same. And, really, I understand their position because I did not pay the lousy $39. But I did not pay it because I never received a statement. When they finally called after four months I paid them the $61 (which included late charges) but it was too late. The tragedy for me is I really never received a statement that whole time. I completely forgot I charged anything at this store. It is hard to accept or believe that I did not receive a statement for 4 months, but truly I did not. I have fussed with this and written them and called them throwing myself on their mercy, pleading, reminding them that I have never been late paying them, I have never gone over limit with them, the amount was so small I would have no reason to jeopardize my credit rating by ignoring the debt. All to no avail. Fact remains I did not pay and so credit report reflects that. I know, but it also IMPLIES that I did not pay on purpose. It IMPLIES that I intentionally ignored this stupid $39. Aaarrgh! Gah! @S#%@#! Expletive not deleted - Fuck, shit, fuck. So, anyway, after talking to the nice lady who I know sympathized but could not reverse the damage, I cried. After living as long as I have, I know sometimes things happen to a person that they do not "deserve". Life is not "fair". So, I did what I could and now I must move on. But, I had to shed a tear. Because this is an aspect of life that saddens me. Me no like-ee. Another thing is my brain just can't get around the whole thing. The store says it must be a Post Office thing. But I can't grasp why it would only affect this one bill. Believe me I get my other bills and lots of 'em. So I just can not buy that some little cretin in the mail sorting world of the Postal Service waits patiently until my (insert store name) statement comes floating through and grabs it, takes it home and puts it in a red velvet bag to take out on special occasions and maybe give it a little stroke (My precious...). This does not quite cut it with me. More to my way of thinking is that the month before I stopped receiving statements I paid off my previous balance with the store. They do not send out -0- balance statements. After I paid them off, I charged this $39 bedspread, on sale it was such a good deal. After that charge I never received a statement and forgot all about it. My theory is that I got hung up in a little computer "glitch"-type of limbo. One part of the computer thinks I do not get a statement, but the other part recognizes I made a charge and thinks a statement is being generated, when it is not. This is what I really think happened. But the store just can not buy it - "That would never happen." And, really, even if it did (which I believe it did) and the store found out that this is what happened, they still could not at this point accept responsibility for it - it would open a little window of liability and they would never do that. So. I am fucked. A couple of other credit card companies with whom I have had very nice low rates have now done random checks on my credit report and have informed me that they are raising my rate to 18.99 plus prime because of information found on my credit report. GAh and shit! So this thing is really a crappy spiral. I will do whatever damage control I can with credit reporting agencies, but really, I see it as an exercise in futility, however one that is necessary to show that I am aware and concerned and all that crap. But - my credibility is injured and my heart is broken. I want to say, just for the record and because it may make me feel a little better - IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT RIGHT. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! Ok. The first Friday of every month our little town has a concert. They close off this little block of downtown and have a band and it is kinda nice. Tonight K and I are planning to go, barring unforeseen circumstances. The band playing is a bluegrass band. I love bluegrass and this part of the world where I live (NW Georgia) has some of the best of it. I am looking forward to it. Saturday, K is working so I am planning to putter around the house by myself! No interruptions. I will get so much done and be so relaxed and happy. That is if it goes according to my plan. I could sure use a nice quiet day to myself. Maybe make some cauliflower giardinara, and my famous granola and I found a recipe for peach muffins so I might try that... Or I could play Sims till I hated them all. I can do whatever I want. I should get out and weed that garden. Oh, gotta make salsa and spag sauce with tomatoes! I sure the hell hope I can have that kind of day.... 8:35 a.m. - 2003-08-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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