metanoia's Diaryland Diary

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I was golden

This morning,I was golden. I woke in plenty of time to take a shower, get dressed and on the road to work with time to spare. When I got in town, every light was green. I had so much time, I went by Starbucks and got a latte. I pulled out of the parking lot and drove to work - still all on green lights. Parked close to building. The morning was quiet and calm. I got a lot done.

Then, my son called. Usually a source of joy. And at first, it was. He had sent me an email last week saying he would call tomorrow. That was eight days ago, so I was a little worried. He is in credit trouble. Kind of like what happened to me a few years back. Late on one card and they all jumped to 30% interest. He says he can make the payments, but will never be able to pay cards off. This is true. I won't grandstand about the unfairness and downright WRONGNESS of the rampant and flagrant use of universal default. I've done that before. But he wants us to get a loan to cover $7,000 at a lower interest rate so he can pay it off. I don't have a problem with this really. My problem came when I tried to explain to him how dad would see it.

I never hear from him and I miss him. I know he is busy and has a lot on his mind. I know the stresses he is under. I just would like an answer to my emails - even a short one. Or to return my call within, oh say 3 days instead of 8 days. I want a relationship with him that I am afraid I will never have again and this saddens me more deeply than I can even express.

I am so depressed now... and the day started out so nicely.

2:07 p.m. - 2007-11-06

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