metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Near the Heart I do not know why I am able to update from work again. Did they change the block filter or what? I'm ecstatic but, and here is where I show how my mind works, I wonder why? Just wondering. I can't really go ask them, "Hey, how come I can update my online diary here at work now, on your time, using your equipment, when it was blocked before? Just wanna say thanks!" Um, no. I am doomed to just wonder.... why... I have been thinking about anmchara quite a bit lately. Most of my life I thought it was just one of those things that overly sentimental people with "no life" believed in. I felt it was a psychological trick a persons mind played on them... That is until I found mine. A person who thinks like me, can anticipate what I am going to say and how I am going to feel, or who knows how I feel before I say anything at all. In his wretchedness and in his beauty he and I are the same. My anmchara, my soul-friend, my doppelganger. After realizing it, and trying to discount it, change it, manipulate it, negate it, and failing at all of these attempts to circumvent it; I now just accept it. I can no longer deny it. It is real and true, and how it works or why it is are just wasted questions. All I can do is know that it is and accept it for what it is in all its glory... It is like finding out you have another vital organ, without which (now that you know about it) you will just shrivel up and die. Try to remove it and all vital signs are gone. Replace it, and life begins again. I think this organ is located somewhere mid chest, near the heart... 1:29 p.m. - 2005-12-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||