metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It must be a sign I work in a building that was built in 1893. It is a great old building, with marble floors and walls and beautiful woodwork. I have a window in my office that is 7 feet high and about 4 feet wide. The morning sun filters through the blinds. It is a beautiful office. Since it is an old building, the bathrooms are scarce; one women�s restroom per floor. I work on the first floor, and so usually use the restroom on that floor. In the women�s room on the first floor, in each stall, there is a sign. When you sit on the toilet and face the door, it is there in front of you to read in all its glory; all its bossy, grammatically fucked up glory. Every day, several times per day, I sit there and read it. It pisses me off (no pun intended). Not only because it is grammatically way fucked up, but also because somebody is invading my pee space and telling me what to do while I am there. There will be no rest in this restroom, dammit! The sign reads as follows: TOILET Hee, hee. I had to go to the toilet just now to remember exactly what it said. Like I hadn�t committed it to memory after going to the bathroom 90,000,000 times and reading it each time�. Gah! I NEVER flush it 2-3 times, just because they want me to, whoever it is that put this sign in each and every stall in the first floor ladies room. Hah! That will teach them to tell me what to do! I sometimes flush it 4 times, you know, just in case the shit police are on patrol. It just gripes me. But, I guess if a person is going to be anal about something, it might as well be about a toilet. So, to get a break from the Nazi sign and get a little exercise during my pee break, I decided to use the restroom on the ground floor. I tripped merrily down the stairs and open the door, choose my favorite stall and sit down. Another fucking sign on the door; by a DIFFERENT person! What is it? What the fuck is going on with these women? Anyway, this sign says: LADIES So, I have no idea what was going on down there to warrant someone needing to put up a sign, but there it is. Now I want to mess the place up a little, but � what to do? Throw paper towels around, willy-nilly? I just have no idea. It is all beyond me. What travesty took place to cause these women to have to take a stand and stave off the barbarian hordes that threatened our restrooms? I am at a loss. So, here I am, wanting to pee and thinking about trying the restrooms on the second floor. I wonder what the girls on the 2nd floor are worrying about in their restroom? I should just go take all the signs down! Hah! Boy, that would cause a stir! Who did it? WHO DID IT! Aaaaaaahhhhghhhh! They would run screaming from the building, tearing their hair out. They would never think it was me, because I give the impression of being just a goody two-shoes, while I am really only a goody one-shoe, or maybe only a sandal or a sock� Goody one-sock. 10:30 a.m. - 2005-05-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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