metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- New Year 2004 So, yesterday was my birthday. I am 52 years old. fuck a duck, lorraine. One of my resolutions/goals for the year is to completely clean out every goddamned drawer and closet in my house and ruthlessly throw shit away. Yesterday I cleaned out a drawer in my nightstand. When I finally got to the bottom of all the crap (which I did throw ruthlessly away) there was drawer liner that I swear I put in when I bought that bedroom set in 1973. Heh. Antique drawer liner. It was pretty gnarly looking, too. Fear not, though. I threw it away too and placed new, shiny drawer liner. At this rate it will be the last liner I place in that drawer, as I will now begin to fill it up with shit all over again. Life is good. I now flip off every city cop I see while driving around town. Of course, I do it low so they don't see me. But it feels good to just stick that finger out there and direct it at them and say, "fuck you mutherfucker." It just feels good. I hate their asses, out whoring for the city coffers. That's all they are - glorified whores getting money for the man. (I am now "flipping off" just for practice.) In that drawer I found a short vignette that was written in my handwriting, but I did not remember writing it. Was I channeling or had it been so long I didn't remember? Heh. Dunno. My point is, as I read it - it was pretty good! I thought - wow, I can kinda write! It gave me a boost. A sort of encouragement that I lacked before. I read it as though I had not written it, and I ENJOYED it. Which reinforced another new year resolution/goal which was to write a story and submit it somewhere. That one was just one of those things you fling out there as a kind of dare to yourself. Kind of like, "OK. You said it, now do it." type of thing. But, finding that little piece I wrote and liking it, made my personal challenge a little more real. It brought it into the realm of a potential reality, instead of just a nice little dream. So, we shall see what I do with this. I may be so busy cleaning out closets and drawers I have no time to write, but it has more substance now. I feel more comfortable with the thought. I had a great birthday. K made dinner New Years Eve and we drank two bottles of champagne between us. At midnight we went out on the back deck and shot off skyrockets for awhile. A neighbor was shooting big fireworks, so we watched that too. K pretended it was a battle of the pyrotechnics and every time they shot off a big firework, he would light a skyrocket. hehe It was fun. I then played a haunting rendition of Robert Burns Auld Lang Syne. Very lovely. He is one of my favorite poets. It was a perfect evening. Then, my birthday I was gifted with orchids and bath goodies and cashmere and better than all the gifts, I did whatever I wanted to - without any interruption!!! I cleaned out my desk as well as the aforementioned drawer. I feel pretty self satisfied. AND I wrote notes to 5 friends. Now, I am back at work. Ugh. But, it's Friday! I am going to learn how to knit. My first class is Monday. I am going to knit a hat. Yay. I can crochet, but not knit. I am verrrry excited. So, knitting, it is my life. heh 9:44 a.m. - 2004-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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