metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smokie the Androgynous Kitten Sometimes I feel like life is so trivial. All the crappy details of our lives, recounted as if there were some kind of cosmic importance attached. Like the women who were in line in front of me at Sbux today. They were getting something � I don�t know what � and they didn�t really know what, either. Hem, haw, hmmm. Oh, I dunno what I want�blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, I�m already late returning from lunch and, really against my better judgment, I decided to get a cappuccino �cause I needed the edge, or I needed something to keep me awake and relatively focused this afternoon. Did I mention I have had a case of the blahs, lately? Big time blahs. To the point of procrastinating everything I am supposed to do everywhere � work, home, church, everywhere I exist in my own little, trivial world. But, back to how trivial everything is�. So these women, who can�t make up their mind, keep yammering about this cookie or that cookie and why this cookie is better than that cookie because � I don�t know why. I could not stand listening to it. I became highly irritated. I know they were having a wonderful time together, but that�s not my problem i but, wait, no - it IS my problem. If you want to talk about the goddamn cookies, get out of line, bitches! Ahem. so, as my eyes began to glaze and my ears began to ring I entered a dreamlike state. In this highly sensitive state, I heard their voices clearly and their trivialities became heightened in their trivialnesity. The trivialonimousness was amplified and surrounded me, encompassed my being. I began to see everything in a trivial light - the other people, the little cups they sell, the cookies, biscotti and all the other garbage. After awhile, I don't know how long because time stood still and began to lose it's balance and rock back on it's heels, I ordered and waited for my cappuccino to appear. While I was waiting, a cloud of nattering began to envelope me. I heard nattering, trivial nattering. I looked toward the sound - the yappers were seated behind me, enjoying their � I don�t know what, cookies, maybe � and their conversation again pierced my personal space. I heard, ��and then the waiter brought me a lamb chop and I ordered a rack of lamb and I asked him what is this and he said�.�. Suddenly,I was no longer irritated. I just thought, "Fuck. Fuck, is this what it is all about? I fucking think it is! Fuck. Life is so trivial." So, that�s what I thought. My nephew and wife and great nephew are arriving tomorrow. I must shop and clean and ready myself. Looking forward to this, as I really thought I would never be graced with their presence ever again. Go figure. Smokie went to the vet yesterday to be spayed. K picked her up at the vet today and found out she is a he. So he wasn�t spayed, he was neutered. I still don�t believe it because I saw no � um � cajones, jewels, ummmm � balls, you know, Testiclature down there. So I still think she is a girl and K just misunderstood. Or, maybe Smokie is a boy. heh. Smokie is kind of an asexual name anyway. Smokie the androgynous kitten. "The adventures of Smokie! the androgynous kitten�". OK. Gotta run and try to motivate to do some of this work that is swirling about me like I am in one of those see-through booths with swirling money flying around and I have to grab some, except it is work I have to grab and then do it. But eventually I�ll get paid for it. My little meager, pittance�. 3:07 p.m. - 2003-11-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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