metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's my body and I'll die if I want to Who am I Am I defined by the things I do, or is it how I react to things? Or am I defined by my thoughts and motivations, my emotions and my fears? More than likely the answers are yes, yes, yes and more yes. I had a long chat with a lady at the church yard sale on Saturday. Her name is Ruth and we somehow hit upon the subject of being liked by others. I said something flippant about liking to be liked and she said, "We all want to be liked, especially children." I knew it was a subject that was tender to her. I said, "People do not realize how sensitive and aware children are when they make offhand remarks." Her beautiful jade green eyes seemed to fill with tears. She said she had a sister, Marion, who was smart and pretty. Everyone always said, "Oh, look at Marion! What a smart and pretty girl she is." She said when she would hear that she would feel ugly and unimportant. She said in her heart she would say, "What about Ruth? What about Ruth?" I think she is a lovely woman with olive sking and soft green eyes, and told her so. She thanked me, but we both knew that the pain she has carried for 80 years she will continue to carry. I went to the Doctor this morning. She wants me to take cholesterol reducing drugs but I told her no. Now she is all whacked out at me. Maybe she gets a kickback or something... It's my body and I can decide what I put in it, though. It really boils down to that. My daughter-in-law-to-be had a birthday on Saturday. We were supposed to drive to Atlanta and have a little party, but son called and said she was too depressed to do it. She has bipolar disorder, and I really do not understand the illness well enough. I worry about him and her. Relationships are hard enough without the added fun of bipolarity (word or not?). She got on the phone and I told her it was her party and she could cry if she wanted to. What else can I do? Son says when she gets depressed there is nothing anyone can do. I plan to do more reading, but I think just supporting and caring is a good thing. K is angry and feels manipulated. But, then, that is almost a constant state for him - snark, snark. 10:46 a.m. - 2003-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||