metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cockroach in Car I have a cockroach in my car! A big, huge, ugly, hairy (I don�t know if they are hairy, but - probably), nasty cockroach. I got my mail yesterday and he was hiding in my mailbox! I got the mail and put it on my passenger seat and made the turn down the driveway when what does my superhuman peripheral vision detect but - movement! From my pile of mail! No. This is not possible. Impossibility, my brain says. Look again, the other part of my brain says. I look and there it is! But it is just as surprised to see me as I am to see it. I shrieks in horror I shriek in horror - it runs! Shit. Now what? I pull into the garage and open the passenger door slowly, slowly and pick up the mail - gently, gently, so I can snag the bugger but- what? No cockroach. He escaped ever so stealthily and now� lives in my car. I once saw a documentary about cockroaches and it said they could live for 1 year on only a human fingernail for sustenance. After that, I gained new respect, or rather, I have held them in awe since that time. I don�t like them, but anything that can live on one fingernail for a year, well, you gotta give them credit. They should all become supermodels. heh. So anyway, I know he (or she) lives. In my car. I�m now trying to remember if I left any fingernail clippings in there�. In my car. Where the cockroach now resides. In my car. So if I kill myself in a horrendous one car accident, you will know I was driving along, singing with the radio, top down and wind blowing through my hair, when all of a sudden the cockroach decides to crawl up my leg, I panic and lose control of my car and die a tragic death on the side of the road. And when they find my burned and charred body, the cockroach will be merrily nibbling on my smoldering fingernail. With any luck it will be The Ring Finger (another entry which I would link if I could). I could not find my car keys this morning because of the distressing cockroach incident. I have no idea where they are, but the whole coming home rhythm was disturbed after unsuccessful cockroach extraction and so I must now assume my keys are somewhere with the overdue library book. Laughing gaily, they are probably drinking raspberry vodka martinis at my expense. (note to self: check level of vodka in bottle). So, I�m driving with �spare keys� today and wondering, wondering where the �real keys� are. I love my real keys because they have a little clicker on them and I can lock and unlock the car from miles away, and even pop open the trunk. I miss my clicker. Wah. Other than that, T-minus 4 days and counting until in-laws descend., or would that be ascend�.? 10:44 a.m. - 2003-06-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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