metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A rutted road I talked to my niece last night. It was not a bad talk. I did not feel as sad or depressed as I usually do after we talk. She was in relatively good spirits and wanted to know how my brother (her uncle) was doing after receiving a pacemaker. We spoke a few minutes and I asked her if she liked the birthday present I sent. She said she loves it, and I asked her to write me a thank you note. Because, I said, it is a nice thing to do. It shows you appreciated the time and effort that was put forth to give you something and you feel it is worth your taking a moment of your time to express gratitude. She said she would, but I rather doubt it. We spoke about how we are not on this earth very long and that after 50 years, I thought, well it is time to shed some of the things I have been doing for 50 years, and add a few new ones. I encouraged her to do the same, and maybe one of the new things she could do is write thank you notes. Haha. What an old nag I am. This got me to thinking (of course!) about the ruts we walk in life. And the more we walk a certain path, the more worn the rut becomes. Could it become so rutted and deep that we could not see out of it? Could our focus become so singular that we not only would ignore anything outside the realm of our rut, but the rut itself, being so deep, would obscure our view, thereby making it impossible to see that any other way existed? Well, maybe not impossible, but it would perhaps require a monumental effort to climb out of the rut and take a look around. Could we get so entrenched that we could be blissfully unaware that there was anything else? Anything more? We would then not even think there was a reason to try to climb out, trudging along, thinking this is the only way to be. I think we can, and do get this entrenched. I want to climb out of my many rutted trenches and kind of look around to see what other roads exist that I might want to take. Not all my ruts are deep ones. In music, I like to keep fresh. I try not to compartmentalize music or art - these are things that contain eternal truths. I like Mozart, Bob Matthews, Snoop Dog, Albinoni, Mary J. Blige, Boy g Mendes, Amazing Rhythm Aces, Thelonius Monk, Madonna, Evanescence, k.d. lang�. on and on. I just like music. Other ruts are old and deep. These are the ones I need to climb out of. Beating myself up because I do not have a degree, blaming everybody else and circumstances for my unhappiness, judging other people harshly, so many things. If a rut is so deep and you do not know there are other roads to take, how do you know yo need to climb out? I suppose you just have to assume that if you can�t see any other way to be, you are entrenched in a very deep rut and you better start climbing out. Trenches do collapse, and you could be buried under years of your own over-trodden earth and become entombed. Well, this was a real uplifting thing here, wasn�t it? heh *shrug* *wanders off muttering, to find another nice deep rut* 10:55 a.m. - 2003-05-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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