metanoia's Diaryland Diary

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brownies and survivor

Lunch yesterday was not the traumatic hell I anticipated. It was only mildly gut wrenching, so that was good.

Last night I ate half a pan of brownies. I slept like crap. I don't know if it was the brownies but - probably. Prolly the brownies.

I got a real kick out of that nerdy weasel fucking over Alex on survivor. It really pissed me off how the two whore-y girls were acting with their little group. It brought back memories of school and sometimes being in the out crowd and the injustice of it all. Fuck them. Now their fake tits are in a wringer. Hah! And Rob's smug little look when Alex said "I would be very surprised if I was voted off tonight." Hee hee. Yay. Go nerd! That was one for us all. Ya did a good thing, even if it was selfishly motivated. The collateral goodness was a pleasure to watch. That's all.

When people say they want to be a dancer, I say well then dance! When people say they want to be a writer, I say well then write. When I want to be a dancer, I buy a book about it and buy an outfit. When I want to be a writer, I buy a book about writing. What the fuck!? Fuck me. Do I even listen to myself? Do I even believe myself? Or am I just full of platitudes that sound good but help nobody?

Fuck. Me. Dead.

11:46 a.m. - 2003-04-25

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