metanoia's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love is a slender thread I went to choir practice last night. It was fun. I was apprehensive, but went anyway and truly enjoyed myself. I am glad I went and now I am part of the choir. K does not want me to do it because he will have to sit alone in church. Why does he do this to me? Why do I do it to myself? I told him he could just sit there with God. He did not like that, but I am going to stay in the choir I think until K just gets too unbearable. I have been thinking about getting my degree. I am hemming and hawing and really don't know if I want to do it, but I feel like I should. But is that enough motivation? I have to look deeper and really understand what it is that is holding me back. Fear of failure or fear of success? Is it fear, or do I just not want to? I moved here to simplify my life. And now I feel like a simpleton. A poem: Love is a slender thread A slipknow around my brain Tied tightly enough to be an occasional avenue for pain The comfortable feeling of being held and secure masks the heartache and anger I am forced to endure Tied to my cranium, I know all is well I live my small life in my own prison cell. 9:23 a.m. - 2003-02-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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